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The book


Length of the penis
Measurement and to what avail
Obsessively preoccupied
Standard procedure
You’ll be surprised
Double standards
Sixteen facts about it
Facts you’ve never heard of
Thirteen types of penis and those that women prefer
Astrological significance
Twelve types of sexual character
Truth and reality
The PENIS-meter and how to use it
The illustrator
PENIS-measurement log
The author

Length of the penis

Surely one of the more ancient worries in men throughout the world: IS IT LONG ENOUGH?

Well, the answer is finally here from expert studies that claim the average length of an erect penis is 13.12cm. On the other hand, the average length of a flaccid (read: floppy) penis is 9.16cm, better yet, 13.24 when it’s floppy but stretched.

Measurement and to what avail

The latter measure is a completely new category and we assume it exists only for the purposes of measurement, although nothing is stopping you from playing with a floppy but stretched penis for other purposes. Continuing on with the numbers, when it comes to girth, if anyone feels as though their penis might be too skinny or too fat, the girth of an average erect penis is 11.66cm, i.e. 9.31cm being the girth of an average flaccid penis. It should be mentioned that British scientists, who are the authors of this study, found no correlation between the length of an erect penis and the height of a man. They believe the graphs they made, which show the distribution of different sized penises, will help doctors in treating the so-called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a serious form of anxiety related to imaginary flaws in one’s body. The research will serve as a salve on those men who for years worry about the size of their penis.

Obsessively preoccupied

Men are often concerned about the size of their penis, as multiple studies showed, and those who are obsessed to such a degree and show signs of depression due to the fear of their penis not being big enough can be diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The authors of the study made a graph that displays the distribution of different sizes of penises across different age groups and races.

…and many more.


All your future love encounters need not be a guessing game. Anticipate wisely your
search for the truth and take your persona PENISMETER out to expose the bare facts – length and girth! Have a lovely surprise gift for your partner, your friend or a girlfriend with this unique measuring instrument and help them make sure of their assessment and of the origin of their beloved penis – at any time and in any place, always!

Safety first

Some measures of precaution:
Take into account that every love-encounter is a potential danger, a health hazard, maybe even a death risk. Although seemingly harmless and thin, with total length of only 1 meter, our PENISisiefer is an ideal self-defense tool.
The potential attacker will be tied down by a noose around his shaft or his neck in a
matter of seconds, making you the master of the situation. Keeping the potential bully on bthe leash, this perfect measuring instrument is a must-have, and it belongs in every woman’s purse.

Expiry date



Vinoretum Udruga za promicanje kulture vina i vinski turizam

Za nakladnika: Davor Zdjelarević
Autor i urednik: Davor Zdjelarević
Ilustracije: Dragutin Dado Kovačević
Grafičko oblikovanje: Dragutin Dado Kovačević
Pogovor: Branka Hlevnjak
Lektura: Marija Vukelić
Mjesto i godina izdavanja: Zagreb, 2021.